When you’re dating after divorce and have kids in Dallas, the general rule for introducing your new boyfriend to the kids is to wait until you know that the new partner is a serious match. Several months or more of serious dating may be appropriate before he should make contact with your children. It’s really about the dynamics of your relationship. You should wait longer, however, if you’re just not sure.
Handling the Introductions
Women dating after divorce with children will eventually have to introduce the new partner. When introducing a new partner, many women choose to first introduce him as a friend. They may invite him to a party or other gathering with lots of people to let their children get accustomed to him being around.
As your children get to know a new boyfriend, women may start spending time with just him and the kids and eventually tell their children that the man is their boyfriend. Even after making this announcement, it might be wise to hold back on showing lots of affection or having him stay over right away.
How do children handle the addition of a new boyfriend?
The child’s reaction will depend to a large part on their age. Babies won’t remember meeting people, so you won’t have to worry much about them. Children may not yet understand the concept of boyfriend/girlfriend and even if they do they may not grasp all the dynamics of the relationship.
Some children may form emotional bonds easily. When an adult enters their lives and then leaves, some children might be upset if they had started to form a bond with the new boyfriend. This is why you need to be careful about when you introduce your new boyfriend. If you do it before you know it’s serious, your child may not fully understand why he’s no longer around after a breakup.
One reaction many children have is that they the boyfriend could replace their father, and may react negatively to the new boyfriend as a result. Point out that no one can replace the child’s biological father and that the child will have opportunities to see their father as well.
Will my new boyfriend affect my divorce?
While dating during divorce might have consequences, dating after divorce with kids will generally not affect the divorce terms. But a new relationship may affect child custody. When deciding custody, the judge looks at what’s in the best interests of the child.
If your new boyfriend is a bad influence and that can be documented, say that he is known to drink to excess, the children’s father may argue that the judge modify your custody agreement. The judge could decide that the father’s home is better than yours because of your boyfriend or that visitation must take place when the boyfriend is not around.
Warren & Migliaccio is ready to handle the legal issues of a divorce in Dallas. Follow our blog for more information about divorce and child custody, or call our office at 888-584-9614 to schedule a free consultation if you have a family law matter.