Interviewer: Are many of your clients seeking a divorce really wanting to hurt their spouse or are really focused on revenge? Or, do most people just want to resolve things in a calm manner and move on?
Even if They Start the Divorce Process with the Best Intentions, Everyone Reacts Differently Before the Process Is Resolved
Chris: It’s a great question and I wish I could answer it in a precise way but truthfully, our clients run the complete gamut of emotion and we really have seen every reaction.
We see clients that come in that want to make the divorce process as peaceful as possible and then the divorce just explodes and becomes an absolute nightmare for everybody involved. Our job becomes more difficult and it is something that we have to work hard to get through and keep everybody in one piece.
If Emotions Run High in the Beginning of the Divorce, Attorneys Will Work to Foster a Calmer Environment for Both Parties
Sometimes people come in with vengeance on their mind, then cooler heads prevail and we’re able to work out an agreement in these type cases where everybody feels they’ve been represented properly.
Do Many Divorces Start Well But Run into Difficulty before the Process Is Resolved?
A lot of it has to do with you know, if we go back to the first example, someone who wants to get divorced peacefully and they don’t want any problems, well, why does it explode?
Unrealistic Expectations and Lack of Communication Can Lead to Problems during the Divorce Process
Typically, it explodes because of their expectations are little high, I guess you could say. There is another party involved and so they want to get divorced, they think it’s going to be easy, this is what they want, the other party should agree and then, boom, the other party says “No way, in fact I want the complete opposite setup. That’s how sometimes it explodes.
Divorce Is a Transition and Sometimes Change Can Be for the Better
Ten sometimes, you’ll have the person that comes in that’s really upset and wants to go for blood and then time heals, they filed a divorce and they think about it, they counsel with us and they realize, this is just about getting to the next stage of my life in a comfortable manner.
I hope my clients realize that there’s no point in assassinating each other’s character so let’s just get through this and make ourselves whole again.
Your Attorney Should Fight for Your Best Interests but Should Not Promote a Combative Atmosphere
We just don’t want emotion to get in the way. We want to help our clients achieve whatever goal they have. There are times where you do need to fight and you do need to do what’s necessary to make sure, in our case, that our client is treated properly and gets what we believe they deserve.
Sometimes you do have to fight but in the same sense we try not to make a fight out of nothing. If there’s a situation where a fight is not necessary, we try to work with our client to achieve a peaceful divorce.
If You Have Children, It Is Important to Promote a Good Relationship with Your Former Spouse
Because when you are co-parents and you get divorced, you’re going to be seeing each other for many years because of the children that you had together. It really can help you if you get through a divorce without too much bad blood between you and your former spouse.
We recognize that and we try to facilitate that. But again, sometimes it’s just not possible. Sometimes you have one person and the opposing party isn’t willing to be reasonable, and at those times, you have to fight and the things can sometimes get a little ugly.